Archive for June, 2006

Why I quit Newsweek...really.

A relative asked me: "What were you THINKING?? Why would a father of two young boys QUIT working at a place like Newsweek. It may not have been a GREAT job," she said," but it was a GOOD job. That used to count for something. Now it's all me! me! me! and everyone has to be happy! happy! happy!" Then she went on to lecture me about how a dentist chooses his profession because it will support his family. "You think looking into ugly mouths all day makes HIM happy???"

She's kind of right, but I'll betcha if that dentist had a chance for rock-solid security as a Playboy photographer he'd leap at the chance for happiness.

It wasn't just about Newsweek (which was a GREAT job, by the way), it was about the cumulative impact on my mind and body of covering hard news for 27 years at major news organizations. Sure, journalism is MUCH more interesting than looking into one mouth after another. Disasters, crashes and assassinations are much more engaging than filling your 5,000th puss-filled molar.

It felt important and heroic to stay up all night feeding the facts to a hungry readership, even though my family just wanted to know when I was coming home. The thrill of chasing down information on an impossible deadline was like a scavenger hunt and the feeling of knowing you beat the competition was incredible. No molars here.

But, like the kid whose parents own an amusment park where even the most fantastic rides begin to lose their luster, I was starting to lose a bit of steam because journalism was becoming predictable, and I hated that. The details were different, but the script was the same. I could practically write a formula for how to respond graphically to just about any news story. (Maybe I will.) Like drugs, it was beginning to take the harder stuff to keep me high. REALLY big stories, like 9/11, still boil my blood. I'll miss those.

An eroding passion is a VERY bad thing in journalism. Passion=energy. Journalism takes energy, lots of it, to succeed.

This line of work was taking a physical toll on me, too. News graphics take lots of time to make and I've pulled more all-nighters than I care to remember. At Newsweek, where the bar was higher than at any place I had ever worked, being sleep-deprived was becoming a weekly occurrence and catnapping on the smelly closet carpet was getting tough on my bones. My staff and I were usually the only ones roaming the dark, empty halls in our stocking feet at 4 a.m. looking for something to eat other than Pop-Tarts from the vending machines (hats off to you, Kevin).

I'm in East Lansing with my wife right now looking for a new house to buy (she and I met at the Associated Press, so she's always understood the crazy schedules and now why I'm moving on). We saw a gorgeous four bedroom with an inground pool for $295,000! We love New York City, too, but here your kids can go off on their bikes for ice cream and you may actually see them again.

I met with Jane Briggs-Bunting yesterday. She's the director of the School of Journalism at Michigan State University where I'll be a teacher. Jane's cool and smart and she talked to me about curriculums and syllabuses and teaching materials and students and it's all new to me and making me a nervous wreck.

The blood's boiling just fine, now, thank you very much.

Gude Friday

I’m sitting on my commuter train zooming into New York City from Norwalk, Ct. at a good 70 mph clip. This is a big day for the Gude family. It’s my wife’s last day at her job (she was the popular executive director of an education foundation here in town … TWO mayors attended her going-away party this week), my two sons’ last day of school (6th and 9th grades) and my last day at Newsweek after ten years.

I’m calling today Gude Friday.

Ten years is nearly 500 issues of the magazine and except for some big news stories, they’re all a blur. Sometimes, as I’d look at the few hundred cover images on the cover department’s walls, I’d think about how each issue felt like a bloody crisis to produce at the time with ideas that wouldn’t materialize in my stressed-out brain, little sleep, impossible deadlines, uncooperative sources, tricky technology and finicky editors. But I’d find myself trying to remember what I had done in any of them. They dissipate like smoke in my memory bank as each week passes by; just not enough room there.

I had my Newsweek going-away party on Tuesday. I was worried to death about it, too, and for good reason. Practically no one works on Tuesdays and I figured no one would come in to work just to go to a party.

There’s a precedent for my fears.

I had another going-away party when I left UPI in 1986 after seven years. I had worked at their World Headquarters in New York (in the super-cool Daily News building on 42nd Street (with the massive globe in the lobby) and where they filmed the early Superman movies with Christopher Reeve) back when the wire service had hundreds of client newspapers and when most of them carried both UPI and AP.

But we were still pretty broke, so UPI was sold by Scripts-Howard to a couple of well-meaning but green Baha’i guys for a buck and they moved the entire operation down to D.C. nearer to where they lived with their families. A lot of the New Yorkers stayed behind and got new jobs. Richard Curtis offered me a job as the graphics director of USA Today, but UPI convinced me to stay (what was I thinking???). If I had defected, that would have meant no graphics department at all would have made the move. My small staff had quit, too, including Linda Eckstein, who, who left for Fortune magazine and wound up staying for 25 years, many of them as their graphics director.
After a year in Washington, D.C., working in their brand-new facilities at 14th and I Streets (across from Jello wrestling, but just a few blocks from the Whites House) I realized that I missed New York City. Living in DC was like living in a museum. Living in NYC was like living in a nightclub. Besides, my girlfriend was up there and I was getting sick of my Metroliner RR romance.

So, they threw me a going-away party….

The notice ticked out over the slow message wire (no email back then) and announced to the whole company that the local watering hole would be set up with weenies and chips, cash bar. I arrived at the appointed time and I discovered a loooooong table, enough for 20 people, cutting right down the center of the bar. I was the first to arrive. Damn.

So I sat and ordered a beer, looking down the runway of empty chairs with expectation and nerves.

And the wait began…

Finally, my good friend Iris Krasnow showed up (she was profiled in last week’s Time magazine for writing a book about women repairing their damaged relationships with their mothers. She’s also written a couple of best sellers: “Surrendering to Motherhood” about her four sons and Surrendering to Marriage” about her husband). What a relief it was to see her. Also, my non-UPI friend, Chuck, showed up a little later.

And that was it. No one else came.

(But, Chuck and Iris, who met that night, fell in love and got married. I was their best man. And Iris went on to write two best selling books about their kids and marriage)

So I was nervous about the Tuesday party at Newsweek. More to come about that in the next blog.

Also for me on this Gude Friday, it’s my final hour on this cell phone-infested prison car I’m sitting in. I’ve taken this train an hour each way, twice a day for 18 years. That’s about 9,000 hours. In the beginning my wife was thrilled about my commute. She saw the train as an opportunity for me to sit still, a place where I would be forced to have a little quiet time for reading, reflection and sleep. She thinks I’m destined for a heart attack because I don’t slow down very much, but I never once slept for fear of missing my station. I did read a ton of novels and a daily New York Times.

I have an issue with just sitting and doing nothing. It’s really boring. So when I wasn’t reading I drew like crazy. I doodled a lot (mostly eyeballs … go figure), illustrated two of my children’s books (they sold nearly 100,000 copies), sketched bunches of people around me in the act of being themselves (I sent some of the drawings into the Times and they ran a full page of them … a lot of their readers commute). I drew cartoons that I submitted to the New Yorker (they never ran one . . .) and the Times OpEd page (the only one they ever ran was the first one, on the conclave in Rome, but they ran it BIG) and I scribbled ideas for that week’s graphics for the magazine.

Commuting became an opportunity that I enjoyed quite a bit, because I could work undisturbed (until the cell phone arrived on the scene … don’t get me started….but I will say that I wasn’t bashful about getting them to quiet down… that changed the day the police came to escort me off the train…another story)Conclave at 450 pixels wide

So today’s Gude Friday. A new beginning for us, a resurrection of sorts…


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